When is it Time to See a Divorce Lawyer?
Do you feel lost in your marriage? Does it seem like things will never get better? Perhaps you have tried marriage counseling with little or not success. Perhaps you are married to someone that is a narcissist, someone that is having an affair, or someone that may or does harm you or your children? Or perhaps you have simply drifted apart in your marriage, your love slowly eroded by years of not putting your relationship first.
Whatever the cause, seeing a divorce lawyer may feel like a drastic step. Perhaps you have been putting off scheduling a consult with a divorce lawyer. Perhaps because you are afraid or perhaps because you keep hoping things will improve.
What are you Waiting for?
The fact is, if you're in a happy or satisfying marriage then you're probably not thinking about seeing a divorce lawyer---at least not with any frequency. We often know in our hearts that things are over well before we take any action on them. For instance, when I left my partnership to open my own firm I knew I was dissatisfied for months but put off taking the steps necessary to move forward out of fear, misplaced loyalty, and so on.
1. Discussion has become impossible;
2. Both of you are quick to find a fault in the other and to pounce on it;
3. You walk on eggshells or duck contact (or your partner does);
4. His or her familiar ways of acting now irritate you (or worse);
5. Subtle and not-so-subtle verbal abuse has become habitual;
6. Your spouse isn't the person you turn to when stressed;
7. You spend most of your time thinking or functioning like someone who is single;
8. There's no eye or physical contact between you;
9. You're no longer acting like yourself.
The same article also indicated that a study by Paul Amato and Denise Preveti found that the following reasons were most cited for filing for divorce:
1. Infidelity - 21.6%
2. Incompatibility - 19.2%
3. Drinking or drug use - 10.6%
4. Growing Apart - 9.6%
5. Personality Problems - 9.1%
6. Lack of Communication - 8.7%
7. Physical or mental abuse - 5.8% and
8. Falling out of love - 4.3%.
Clearly not all of the above are mutually exclusive, but the study asked for the number one reason why the marriage ended.
Should You See a Divorce Lawyer?
Perhaps, as a New Jersey Divorce Lawyer, I am biased in writing about this subject, but if you're considering a divorce then I believe you should see a divorce lawyer sooner rather than later. For one thing, you have very little to lose by meeting with a divorce lawyer. At our firm, for instance, we have a discrete and private location. We only communicate with clients in the manner in which they are comfortable. If you prefer to communicate via email then we will honor that. By telephone then we will honor that as well. Our offices are located in an office park with other professionals. We are, as far as I know, the only divorce lawyers in our office complex. We are in a building with other businesses. It is very unlikely that you would be seen or noticed meeting with our firm, unless you were being followed.
We charge $250.00 for a 1-2 hour consult, which is reduced from our standard hourly rate. That means you get to meet with one of our experienced and qualified divorce lawyers for 1-2 hours to discuss your rights and responsibilities if you were to file for divorce or if your partner were to file for divorce.
There is no obligation to hire our firm and there is no obligation to proceed with a divorce. We have even seen plenty of clients reconcile after divorce has been already been filed. Many times we refer clients to marriage therapists or suggest that they work on their marriage.
Afterwords you will have a greater understanding of the process and whether or not you are ready financially, emotionally, and otherwise to proceed with your New Jersey divorce.
If you know your marriage is all but over, or if you simply fear a divorce may be in your future, then it makes sense to schedule a consult and to see a divorce lawyer. If so, we hope you'll consider scheduling a consult with our firm. You can call us at 908-237-3096 to schedule or you can fill out the form below to self-schedule your consult through the internet. We look forward to meeting with you and discussing your options. And in the meantime, please use our firm's extensive website to learn more about the divorce process.